If, like me, you are unfortunate enough to work with the general public i.e the mentally ill, then I'm sure you will also have an extensive back catalogue of tales to tell about their infinite stupidity.
Now, I work in a bookshop. You would be forgiven for thinking that this would keep moron traffic to a minimum. But you be wrong!! The things Ive seen ladies and gentlemen, the things I've seen... For example!! A guy was once found in our toilets fucking one of those goddamn cooked chickens you get at the deli! Yes, everything you've heard is true. Perverts fucking love bookshops.
I was once told to "bugger off and get someone else to serve me" because I fucked up on the till and had to start again by some ridiculous man melon..now if his argument was that he was in a hurry because he had some online grooming to do or whatever, then he shot himself up the arse, because he had to wait double time. Its these little petty day to day exchanges that thoroughly depress the shit out of me. I wish these pricks could put it in perspective. I mean Tony Hart died today.
And the questions...I fucking despair for the human race when I hear the questions.
"I want a book of names and their meanings, but not baby names."
"Do these stairs go down?"
"I saw a book. Its blue. Do you have it?"
"Can I buy a DVD with these (clearly marked) book tokens?"
And my personal favourite...
"Do you sell shoes?"
Aside from that, my job is a fucking joy. I love the women who storm in, thinking they are a walking miracle cause they shat out a couple of brats and gave them ridiculous names like "Poppy" or "Ruby" or "Olly" Now, whilst it may be cute when they are fatfaced snotnosed shitty trousered babies/toddlers, I dont think these fucking retards realise that they are actually going to turn into horrible adults like us and no amount of arty farty naming is going to make them the artist/lawyer/insert person you wish you were, you want them to be.
So fuck off!
Glad I got that off my chest!
E
X
